Confessions of a Lovesick Commander
by Sara.Amy
Summary: What happens when Julius asks Vinyaya out? One thing's for sure, it'll be very, very interesting.
1. Chapter 1

**Written by Amy and Sara. Hope you enjoy, and don't forget to R&R! :)**

**Disclaimer: We do not own Artemis Fowl. But Amy wants to own Butler and Sara wants to own Arty. :3 **

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Julius Root sat at his desk. "Should I ask?" he thought, as he slumped in his black leather chair. The commander's right hand hovered over his cell phone that was laying before him on the table. It would be stupid of him to use the Police Plaza's phone.

"But what if she says no?"

That's what bothered him the most, the fear of rejection. The fear that she'd never be able to look at him again, without laughing.

"All I have to do is say six simple words. All I have to do is say 'Will you go out with me?'"

Even though he was a grown adult, this was one of the things in life that scared him. Asking someone out.

"Eh, even if she does say no, it wouldn't be the first time." The LEP commander mumbled to himself under his breath. "Who cares if she says no?" His conclusion? "I do."

At this point, Julius hated himself. "Stop being a freaking chicken and call her already!" He rolled his brown eyes. "Fine. I will. Now, all I need to do is stop talking to myself." Quickly, before he lost all his nerve, the commander picked up his Fphone. Which was, of course, invented by Foaly.

Then, he dialed Raine Vinyaya. He glanced at the seven digits, hastily scrawled on a napkin by Vinyaya, even though he had long since memorized it.

Root spoke each number carefully, not wanting to mess up, or have the FPhone misinterpret his words. Then placed it firmly onto his ear.

"Hello, this is Spuds..."

The commander quickly hung up. "Crap... Let me try again." He started to say Vinyaya's number again.

"Four"

*Pause*

"Eight"

"Excuse-me-sir-please-repeat." The FPhone's robotic monotone said.

"Four, eight..."

"Excuse-me-the-last-digit-"

"EIGHT!" Root roared.

"Dialing Four-Eight-Eight." The FPhone buzzed for a moment.

A male's voice appeared out of nowhere on the other line.

"This is the Atlantis police hotline, Trouble Kelp speaking. May I help you?"

"Uh..." Root stood there, not knowing what to do, then donned a high-pitch voice.

He squeaked, "Hello, this is...Marjory...Picklebottom, and my, um, fish is stuck in a patch of...seaweed! I live on, uh, Sesame, I mean, Main Street! Hurry, please, kind sir!"

"We will be on our way, ma'am. Thank you." Trouble hangs up, and Root sighs, relieved.

"Four eight three seven seven one nine!" He barks furiously into the FPhone.

"Did-you-just-bark-at-me-sir-" The FPhone asks, sounding almost like Foaly.

"Gwaaa... Foaly really did make this. I hate this."

"YES, YOU STUPID, WORTHLESS PIECE OF JUNK!" Root screamed, his face livid with rage.

"What did you just call me?" A different voice asked. A female's voice. Raine Vinyaya's voice.

"Nothing! Nothing! Just...technical difficulties?"

"It better be. Who are you and want do you want?" Raine asked.

"This is Commander Root."

"Oh!" Vinyaya said, obviously surprised, "Excuse me, sir, you sound different over the phone."

"I do, don't I?" He tried to spark a conversation. Stupid, stupid...Root internally kicked himself.

"Yeah, so what do you want, Julius?" Vinyaya said bluntly, erasing all chances of stalling with small talk.

Commander Root cleared his throat.

"Raine, would you like to go somewhere special?" He asked, his voice almost demanding.

Her voice was cold, "Great. Just what I need, another mission. Where now, Siberia? Or your house, to water your ferns?"

Root swallowed. This might be much, much harder than it had seemed.

"I was thinking, more like Spud's Spud Emporium," he answered gently. Stupid!

"So I can go arrest Spud for trying to mask those shoes as exotic fish? That food there is so bad, I'd rather eat the shoe."

Root tried to hastily cover up his mistake, "My bad, I mean the Acorn Amour."

"Oh, were they smuggling curry again?"

"No... actually...I'd like for..." Root cleared his through and blurted, "Wanna-go-on-a-date-with-me?"

"Hmm...will Foaly be there?"

"Well, no. But if you want him to come, I can ask-"

Vinyaya cut him off, "Perfect."

"Wait, what?"

"I will go on a date with you, Julius." Her tone this time, was not sarcastic or mean, but normal. Serious. Then it hit Julius. Raine Vinyaya was going on a date with him. Raine Vinyaya, the love of his life, was going on a date with him!

Root stood up, and did a little happy dance. In his excitement, he forgot that he was not a particularly good dancer. He knocked over a plasma TV from the wall, as he did a twirl. It fell, and clonked him on the head. Stars swam before his eyes.

"Hello, Julius, you there?" A sound from his FPhone made him glance up, from his spot at the floor. Why was someone talking? Oh yes, Vinyaya...

"I'll pick you up at seven, babe..." Root mumbled groggily. Then, the world went black.

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**We'll update soon. :3**


	2. Chapter 2

"Babe?" Raine Vinyaya rolled her eyes, almost angrily, as the phone beeped, "He did not just hang up on me."

Then, she almost giggled. "I haven't been on date for fourteen years! All because of the LEP. I'm only in it because Dad was."

Excited, she flung open her wardrobe. A barrage of assorted shoes rained down on her. "Ow! That's gonna leave a bump."

She brushed aside a heap of ugly heels, and stared in despair at the racks of drab uniforms. Raine sighed. It was her own fault for always wearing strict, LEP regulation.

"Okay. Now I really hate LEP life. Perhaps, I'll need the advice of an expert..." mused Raine. She brightened, and whipped out her pink FPhone. She knew exactly who to call.

20 minutes later...

"Hey, what's cooking?" A high-pitched falsetto squeaked.

"Holly?" Raine asked suspiciously, "What do you sound so weird?"

"Uh, it's actually me. Holly's a bit busy, sorry." Foaly said in his normal voice, as he clomped his way inside.

"B-but..." Raine was at a loss of words. Even her Recon training couldn't have prepared her for this.

"Don't worry! I'm a fashion expert! I know all the latest, hip trends!" Foaly adjusted his crumpled tinfoil hat.

"Oh... Well, I did always think you were um... girlish or even..."

"This is going to be totally swell!" Foaly beamed, as he grabbed her hand and led her out the door.

"No one says "swell" anymore." Raine twitched as the horse nerd touched her.

"Sure thing, groovy sist'a," Foaly smirked, as Vinyaya facepalmed and groaned.

"Come on it's not like we're going to the Disco Hall or anything. All we're doing is going to pick out a rad outfit for you to wear at your date."

"And...how exactly are we going to do that?"

"To the carrot shop!"

"Carrot shop?! I'm not wearing a tiny, orange vegetable to the Acorn Amour!"

"But, I bet Julius would love to see you wear a carrot." Foaly grinned devilishly. "A lot of skin will show."

Vinyaya slapped him.

"Alright..alright..." Foaly sniffed, "To the swanky mall, cracker jack!"

"Oh Frond, kill me now!" Vinyaya thought as Foaly shoved her into his very own, patented hovercar, the Fcar.

Update 2!

The world exploded in a fiery inferno, flames licking at the pavement. Civilians ran and screamed from the raging fire, dropping shopping bags in their haste.

Foaly blinked. "Whoops. Didn't mean to run over that cat in the road."

"Yeah. The cat, there was that cat did this." Vinyaya crossed her arms.

"But those girls over there," He pointed to a gang of rough female elves, they held chains in the palms of the hands. Tattoos all over their bodies, and had the mussels of a male elf body builder. "They were digging my fly ride. See they're even smiling at me right now."

Foaly looked over at the gang once more and waved. The strongest one, their gang leader mouthed the word; "die" in Foaly's direction. As another member on the leaders right spit on the ground. Leaving the rest swinging, or pounding their palms with chain ropes, smirking.

"Um... I don't like them anymore." Foaly thought.

"No... they're laughing at you, donkey head." scowled Vinyaya.

"For your info, I have a very human like head, thank you very much," sniffed Foaly.

Raine Vinyaya rolled her eyes. "Right, whatever. Hurry up and find another mall. Root's picking me up at seven, and I'd like to buy a dress before you run over another cat, and start a another fire."

"Fine... I won't run over another cat, so you can get a killer-diller dress for your bad boy. Besides...how was I supposed to know that the cat was actually a giant explosive?"

"Because it had the words; Fire, hazard, do, not, touch, property, of, the, LEP? Wait... did you say bad boy?"

"I forgot my glasses in the Ops Booth! And yes I did." protested Foaly.

Vinyaya snorted. "Drive, pony-boy. Before I call my "bad boy" to hurt you. "

Foaly muttered something about anger issues, but he slammed his foot on the gas pedal anyways.

Raine finally calmed down. "Now we're actually going somewhere." She thought.

Foaly stopped the Fcar outside of a different mall with a whinny neigh.

Vinyaya looked at the building, crumbled up walls that needed new paint. Bushes around the area with weeds out of order.

"Looks like this place was made in the um... I don't know, 1909?" She mumbled, Foaly still able to hear her.

"What did you say? This is the best mall in town. 2 stars." Foaly looked around, no one else besides a hobo was there. "This place is the swankiest mall in Haven."

"Hey Foaly, here's an idea. Why don't you give me the car keys and you go shopping in there, while I go shop someplace else? Good idea?"

"No, it's not."

"I hate you, Foaly."

"I love you, Raine."

"What was that?"

Stupid, stupid Foaly! Why did I say that?! Now she thinks I'm even more wired.

Vinyaya walked towards the the building, leaving the centaur behind her.

"Just look at her, so beautiful, so pretty, so amazing..." Foaly thought. "I can't let Julius have her. She needs someone smarter, someone faster; lighter on their feet."

Foaly couldn't stop looking at her. Hair flowing in the soft breeze, like in the mud man movies.

Vinyaya walked up to the main double doors of the run-down mall, passing the the hobo that was asleep with his back against the wall.

Foaly was still behind her, not walking.

She looked through the glass doors, no stores, no workers, no shoppers, it was closed.

"... YES!" Raine yelled out loud.

Foaly clomped up to Vinyaya as fast as he could. "What happened?! You're OK, no?" asked Foaly frantically.

"Of course I'm OK!" Vinyaya rolled her eyes, "Hand over the car keys."

"Alright...?" Foaly drops the car keys into her outstretched hand, "Why?"

Raine giggled, which was not like her. "Because, this place is closed and I want to drive."

She sprinted back towards the Fcar, and hopped into the driver's seat.

Foaly opened the passenger door, "Are you sure you want to drive?" He got in slowly.

"Duh. Don't be such an idiot." Vinyaya rolled her green eyes, once again. "I know how to drive."

As Raine stepped on the pedal, the Fcar spun wildly, and shot up into the artificial sky.

"AHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Foaly, his eyes bugging out of his head. "YOU DRIVE WRONG!"

"Calm down. I know what I'm doing," she said calmly, as the Fcar looped in the air twice in a row.

"I'm gonna, be know..." Foaly said covering is mouth.

"Well it is your car. Do what you want." Vinyaya snarled, as she nosedived downwards.

Foaly forgot all about throwing up, and howled, "I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIEEEEE!"

"Shut the Frond up."

The Fcar plummeted downward, faster and faster. At the last moment, when Foaly was sure they would end up as a splat on the pavement, Vinyaya pulled up. The belly of the Fcar barely kissed the ground.

"See we're not going to die, Foaly. I have everything under control. Remember I'm a LEP commander."

Foaly slowly opened his eyes. She had somehow, not only managed to survive, but also parallel parked the car perfectly. Right in front of the Chateracine Mall. His jaw dropped open.

"Y-you..we're...I can't be-bel...we're alive!" stammered Foaly, awestruck. She's amazing...

"Yep," replied Vinyaya, "Just now figured that out, eh?"

Before Foaly could reply, Vinyaya leaped out of the Fcar, and into the mall.

"C'mon, donkey-boy! Let's go shopping."

"I love her..." Foaly thought and slowly got out, feet shaking as he stood up and followed Vinyaya into the Chateracine mall.


	3. Chapter 3

The mall was enormous. Vinyaya gazed up at the two stories of stores.

"Whoa..." breathed Foaly, staring up in amazement.

"Hmmm... Which store first?" Raine asked, even though it was his first time in this mall.

Foaly shut his eyes and pointed randomly upwards. "That one?"

Raine's jaw dropped open. "No, no, no! Not Victoria's Secret."

"Yes, Victoria's Secret! I've never been there before. It'll be really neat-o, going there!"

"... I'll just wait to see if Julius and me get serious before I shop for things there. You get the picture, Foaly?"

"Alrighty, I guess," shrugged Foaly.

"But if you want to see what's in there, go up there and be my guest." Vinyaya shivered. "I say the stuff in there is, um... adulty."

"Hey, that's a pretty swell looking store! It's..uh...The Crunchy Barn!" Foaly changed the subject quickly, his face turning red.

"But I wish she would still buy stuff from there and wear it for me. Foaly shut up! No, you shut up!" He thought.

"The Crunchy Barn is a taco stand." Vinyaya sighed. "Foaly, what is it with you, and food?"

"Can you wear the taco?" Foaly grinned.

"Ugh... I feel like I'm shopping with a per..."

"-son? You don't like shopping with people?"

"No, I meant perve-"

"Do not say that word, Vinyaya." Foaly cut her off before she was able to say the last syllable. He turned around and pointed to another store, and said, "Ain't that the bee's knees?"

"Eh?" Once again, Vinyaya face palmed.

"That's the um... Sole Le Life!" Foaly exclaimed.

"Which is a heel shoe store!" Vinyaya said, pushing Foaly out of the way, running for the store.

"I never knew she loved shoes so much. Well she does wear those black heeled knee high boots to work. Which look very..." Foaly slapped himself and ran after Vinyaya.

"Why are you slapping yourself?" Vinyaya asked, once they were inside the store.

"Uh...no reason. My head itches, that's all," lied Foaly quickly.

Vinyaya walked away, ignoring him and disappearing inside the rows and rows of heels. She picked up a blood red stiletto high heel. I like this one, she thought as she placed it into it's box and carried it off.  
"Foaly!" Raine yelled out. "Get your butt over here!"

Foaly hurried to catch up to her, knocking over a few shelves in the process.

"Wow, those shoes look wicked!" Okay, now she really needs to wear that taco and these together.

Vinyaya growled at his comment. "Wicked?"

Foaly shrugged his shoulders. "Well, they are totally hotsy totsy, if you ask me. Go for it, girlfriend!"

The two stood there in silence.

"Girlfriend?" Raine raised an eyebrow. "Why are you talking about?"

Foaly shrugged once more. "C'mon, sista! We're total homies, bra!" He said quickly and nervously.

"Bra? Oh, so now you're talking about my bra?" Vinyaya wrinkled her nose.

More silence.

"Well I didn't mean it like that, bra is..."

"Something you would like to see me ta-"

"Don't finish that, Vinyaya."

"No problem, bra." Vinyaya rolled her eyes, her words dripping with sarcasm.

Foaly blushed.

"Hey, you look like a tomato. Don't you look hotsy totsy." Vinyaya laughed and winked at him.

Foaly's mouth dropped open. Was she...flirting with him?!

I'm really rubbing off on her, aren't I?

Then, Vinyaya walked away to the cash register to pay for the red heels. Foaly stared after her, hypnotized by the swing of her hips.

Wow... She needs to be with me, not Julius, Foaly thought jealously.

"Foaly! Come on!" Vinyaya started to walk out of the store. Foaly trailed after her.

"So what do we do now?" The lovesick centaur asked. Please let it be clothes now. Maybe she'll need some help with, I don't know, getting her uniform off. Foaly quickly shook the thought from his head.

Raine stopped and faced him, giggling. "Clothes, now." She smiled.

His heart started racing.

"Okay."

Even though Vinyaya claimed she shouldn't lay a foot in there, she was leading him in the direction of Victoria's Secret.

Damn... Vinny is changing. First she's strict, now she's... What?!

They both walked into the store, which was painted in a sickening shade of lipstick pink, with fire engine red trim.

"Remember Foaly, we're looking for a dress." She walked over to a rack of dresses.

"Raine, I found one!" He yelled out, randomly grabbing a dress before she turned around. It was a sky blue, silky, strapless dress.

"What? You want me to wear that?!" Vinyaya though for a moment, "But my shoes are red."

"Aw, c'mon. It's so groovy, sista!" He smiled at her. "Just try on, see if you like it."

"Fine...alright." Raine shrugged, grabbing the dress and disappearing into a changing room.

A few moments later Vinyaya waltzed out, pulling at the dress to unwrinkled it. Foaly gaped at the plunging neckline, which revealed quite a bit...

"I like, you like?" She asked, slightly poses.

"I really like it. To bad the shoes-" His eyes shifted over to a rack full of jewelry. "I have an idea."

Foaly walked over to the rack and found a necklace with a red gem at the end. The same red color as the shoes. He walked back over to Vinyaya and helped her put it on.  
"Perfect." He whispered into her ear.

Vinyaya looked over to her side where Foaly's head was, "Foaly you're smart."

Their lips where just inches apart. They were so close.

"You finally noticed that?" He leaned in closer.

She leaned in closer. "Yup."

Their lips touched. Foaly closed his eyes, but Vinyaya jerked away nervously. "I have a date with Root in one hour," she whispered. "I just can't do this."

"You didn't have the date yet, Raine."

"But..."

"No butts, just lips." He told her with an accent.

They both kissed again.

The entire store turned to stare at them. Was it really Vinyaya and Foaly?!

Vinyaya rolled her eyes and traced the outline of Foaly's lips with her finger. "Perhaps we should find a place a bit more...private?"

"Now you're thinking like a commander." Foaly smirked. "Get out of that dress, buy it, and come on."

"Just give me a moment," Vinyaya walked back into the dressing room.

A moment past, Rain bought the dress and necklace, and now led Foaly through the mall.

"Where are we going?" He asked looking at the sway of her hips once more.

"Somewhere... Dark." Foaly could have sworn that she had just shot him an evil, sly look.

Oh Frond, this better not be a dream. Please let it be real, he thought as Vinyaya grabbed his hand and pulled him out a door.

"Come on, Foaly." Vinyaya giggled. Outside of the door, the pair found themselves in a dim ally. Perfect. Vinyaya wrapped her arms around his neck. "You sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," he murmured, as he wrapped his arms around her back. Vinyaya leaned into him, their lips meeting again.

Once they separated, Vinyaya spoke up. "You know...? You've gone fifteen minutes without saying a stupid old word." She poked his nose and kisses him once more.

Foaly pulled Raine closer. "So I should go for twenty minutes now, eh?"

A banging at the door made both of them freeze.

"Dude, hurry up in there! I gotta pee, bad!" howled a high-pitched, but male, voice from inside the door.

'He thinks this is the restroom!' mouthed Vinyaya, her eyes wide open.

'Oh Frond...' Foaly mouthed back.

"Uhhh...is anybody in there?"

No answer.

Grub shrugged and flung open the door. His jaw dropped. The shopping bags fell from his hands, and tubes of acne cream were scattered along the pavement.

"It's not what you think!" The couple said in unison. Grub eyed them, standing there, not moving. Vinyaya's body was still draped against Foaly. Foaly's arm was around her waist and the other one on her shoulder. Both of their lips were wet from each other's saliva.

Grub raised an eyebrow. "Oh gawsh." He whispered. "You both..."

"D'arvit. I'm telling Mommy! I'm telling Trouble! I'm telling... I'm telling Commander Root!" Grub shrieked.

Foaly was the first to react. "No!" He squeaked.

Vinyaya was a little calmer. "Shhh...shhh. It's not what you think." She paused, reconsidering. "Well...maybe it is what you think it is. But you don't have to tell anyone." Vinyaya dug in her purse and handed him a twenty dollar bill.

Grub's eye's widened. "Really?" He snatched the money. "But wait...if you're admitting it...Than this is a scandal! A scandal! Like, I heard that you and Root were dancing! And he hit his head dancing! And the rumor of you two getting married...?"

"Scandal, no." Vinyaya frowned. "Wait, WHAT? He-we-d-dancing-married?!" spluttered Raine.

"Aww...just take the money and leave. With your mouth shut." Foaly pleaded, while sliding the hand that was on Vinyaya's back a little lower.

Grub sniffled, ignoring Foaly. "It's is too a scandal. And I'm totally telling." With that, Grub back out of the ally, and sprinted away, apparently having forgotten about his bathroom issues.

"I can't believe that, that just happened." Vinyaya started to turn red.

Foaly placed three fingers under her chin and guided her face to look at him. "Everything will be alright, I promise, Vinny."


	4. Chapter 4

Back at the office, the lucky commander watched the clock by the second, waiting for his shift to be over.

*Tick-Tick-Tick-Tock*

The clock said. The seconds crawled by slowly.

"Come on, you stupid clock. Go faster." He murmured under his breath as a drop of sweat rolled down the side of his face, onto his red cheeks.

Root drummed his fingers on the side of his desk impatiently. He couldn't wait to get home.

*Ding*

His shift was over, finally he was able to go home and get ready for the date he had wanted for a while now.

Julius got off his office chair and proceeded to the door and out in the hallway.

"Commander Root, Commander Root!" A male with a whining voice called out to him, "Fo-Vin!" It was clear that he was out of breath from running.

"Fveen? Is that another one of Foaly's inventions?" Root said in an amused voice, spinning around to face Grub Kelp.

Grub stopped in front of his leading commander. "No- Foa- He and-" He took a deep breath. "Vinyaya..."

"Foaly and Vinyaya?" Root repeated, not quite understanding.

The young Kelp quickly nodded. "They- they were..."

"Get on with it," Root said, clearly annoyed. After all, he had a date to get to, and Grub's complaining was wasting his valuable time.

"Ki-Kis-kissing!" Grub passed onto the ground in front of Root.

"I'll be sure to file your compl-WAITWHAT?!" Root nudge Grub's body with a pointy toe. When he d didn't wake up, Root grabbed a nearby pail of yellow water and splashed it on Grub Kelp's face.

The weak man did nothing, but just lay there with some sort of yellow water that was near the bathroom, all over his body.

"WAKE UP, BOY!" roared Root, his face turning redder. What? Vinyaya and Foaly? He had to know more. But then again, what would a beautiful elf like Raine be doing with a hairy horseman like him?

Grub stayed silent, not moving a muscle. "If I don't move he won't see me." He thought. Then he felt the stench of the yellow water rising all around him. "This smells like... OH MY FROND IT'S PEE!"

Root had it up to his neck with the boy. So he walked away to the parking lot.

Grub peeked open an eye. Aha. Ole Beetroot's finally left, he though. Then, he proceeded to jump up, screaming like a banshee all the way to the bathroom to wash off.

In the parking lot, Root heard giggling, giggling from two familiar elves. Turning around the corner to the side of the building was Trouble Kelp and Melody Vinyaya.

"Trubby..." The Vinyaya giggled. "Let me go!" She smiled a devilish smile.

Trouble held her in his arms. "Now why would I-"

"Because if you don't, I will demote you." Root cut him off, with a smirk playing on his lips.

Both of the lovebirds broke out of their embrace to gape at him.

"C-commander Root!" Trouble said, looking surprised, "What a surprise."

Melody looked at Julius and cocked her head to the side. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be at dinner with my aunt right now? She's been, like, sooo busy preparing."

"Really?" Root raised an eyebrow, "Or was she locking lips with Ponyboy?"

"Huh? Um, she hasn't dated anyone in forever. So, you're just going to ditch her?" Melody asked, eyes growing wide. "Wait, I just remembered something... Foaly and Vinyaya went shopping."

Julius looked at the girl like she was on something illegal.

"Shopping? With Foaly?" He snorted.

"Yeah," was all she replied. Melody gave him the same look back. "Don't you have to be somewhere?"

"Yeah, sure..." Julius mumbled as he hurried to his black Fcar. He'd remember to ask Vinyaya about this Foaly stuff. For now, he had to concentrate on more important matters. After all, he had a date in an hour.

Walking up to the Fcar, he could see something wrong. Something wrong with his car. There was a major ding in its side.

"Crap," he thought. "Whoever did this, is going to be fired and thrown into a pit of trolls."  
He could feel his face grew livid with rage and anger.

He yanked open the car door. It wouldn't open. He yanked harder, and the car door flew off in his hand. A huge gape was now in the car, where the drivers door had been.

"Thank Frond, I have a spare door in the trunk." He murmured and walked to the end of the car, opening the trunk.

Quickly pulling the door out placing it on the ground, going back to the main door to take it off it's hinges. He pulled out a screwdriver and unscrewed the screws, unscrewing the door hinges.

As Julius was taking the door off of his Fcar, a wild dog appeared. Quietly, it walked to the spare door. The dog lifted its leg and quickly began to go to the bathroom.

Julius was intently unscrewing a particularly difficult screw, when he heard a strange sound. It was like a mini waterfall coming out of a hose faucet.

"What the..." muttered Julius, straightening up to investigate. His back mildly popping as his spinal cord aligned to its normal form. Root saw the wild dog with its back led in the air, and a liquid coming out, landing onto his spare door.

"How many times am I going to have to deal with pee and a idiot today?" he grumbled. Then, an even more troubling thought popped into his head. Vinyaya! How am I ever going to get to our date in time?! Well... I can always call my stepsister, and ask to borrow her car.

Julius looked down at his watch, six-twenty-five, on his Fphone. Sighing, he dial his sister.

"Hey! What's up, Trancey-pie?" Julius grinned broadly, trying to sound upbeat.

"What do you want?" Trancey said, immediently suspicious. The sound of children yelling in the back.

"What do you mean?" countered Julius, "Can't I just called my sis?"

"Um, you haven't called me since that time you needed to borrow my shoelaces when we were kids."

"Well, who says we can't start now?" Julius replied cheerfully. More yelling grew louder. "What's that sound in the background?"

"Ohh, those are just my five devil children. But you couldn't know that, seeing as we haven't talked since you last borrowed those shoelaces," Trancey shot back sharply.

"Fine, fine. Listen, I need a favor."

"You got thirty seconds. Talk fast, Kimberly is about to stab her brother with her carrot." grouched Trancey, obviously in a bad mood.

"Gwaaaa!" One of the kids cried out in the background. "Mummy!"

"One second, Julian, shh, Mum's on the phone!" Trancey called.

Julius heard his name, 'Julian'. Very similar to 'Julius'. Hmmm. Strange.

"Twenty seconds, hurry up. Jules is about to die from a girl with a carrot."

"Uhhhh...Ineedtoborrowyourcar-becauseadogpeedandthedoorwas ruined-andeverything'sruins-andIneedtopickupVinyaya!"

"Huh? Vinyaya?"

"Yeah! Vinyaya! We have a date! But no car!" Julius growled. Then, in a softer tone, he said, "Can we please borrow yours?"

"Given," Trancey said, not skipping a beat. "Just don't get it scratched up."

"Given," Root smiled, "Trance, you're the best."

"I know. I'll bring the car over. You're at the LEP, right?"

"Yep."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes. 15, if there's traffic." Trancey hung up.


End file.
